News that you never want to hear

It breaks my heart when terrible things happen this time of year. In the last week I have lost an Uncle, a friend lost her baby at 20 weeks, and my cousin's grandmother died. It never seems to fail that there just seems to be just so much sorrow at this time of year. I don't know if it is just a coincidence or we just seem to notice it more with all the holidays. While I understand that these things are a part of life, something very tragic happened to a person I share a connection with that should never be a part of life. The murder of a child.

I belong to an adoption group online, Adoption.com. It has been a wonderful place of support, education and fun for me and many other families whose lives have somehow been touched by adoption. Our little corner of the Adoption.com world is the Guatemala board. I have been a member since before we even started Carlos' adoption. If you have not experienced the rollercoaster of international adoption I know that it might not make sense. Everything is just so out of your hands and it does take a huge leap of faith to get you thru just those first steps, so having other's who have been there and done that is a huge help. You basically hand your dreams over to someone in a country, most times you have never even seen. In our case it took me a while to even find it on a map. So even though I do not know many of these families personally, we have never met, we share a bond. Thru this board we have become a family, we fight like siblings, we cheer each other on when things seem impossible. We celebrate each other's milestones, such as getting the Dna tests done, getting in PGN. You become experts at words that in any other life would never make sense. You do all this because you know in your heart, deep in your soul, that this child, who was born to another woman, in another country, to another world and language, is your child. Like any parent, whether your child comes to you by birth or adoption, we will do anything for these children. It seems that everyone on the Guatemala board has now become so attached to their child's birth country that we go back for visits, we long for visits, we keep in touch with our foster families. Some people even still help support their foster families, their child's birth families or orphanages that have just found a spot in their hearts. I know that I will never be the same person I was before I traveled to Guatemala and saw for myself the beauty of the country, but also the poverty. Guatemala has become part of me.

I logged on to my Guate board this weekend and found a thread that chilled me to the bone. My heart hurts and I feel so very helpless. One of the family's daughter was murdered in a home invasion. This child was possibly going to be home for Christmas. She was in the final steps of her adoption. I don't know the details, I just know that this is so wrong in so many ways. I cannot even begin to understand this. Josi was 5 years old, a beautiful little girl who's family was looking forward to her homecoming. Now her family is having to deal with this senseless tragedy. They had just paid their final portion of the adoption fees. They have been trying to raise funds for this adoption as many families have done. Now they have lost their child, and from what I understand other's were killed also. I know that it is Christmas time and economically it is hard. If you can, make a donation. If you just don't have the money, please just say a prayer for this family. http://azhderianfamily.blogspot.com/