My husband and I celebrated our 22nd wedding anniversary this weekend. It was not a very good celebration I am sad to say. We are both sick right now so neither are on our best behaviors or very patient. Friday he did take the day off and we went to the beach together, Little Man to the babysitters and daughter in school. Mommy and Daddy time alone is a very rare treat. It was a wonderful day and we found lots of sharks teeth and snorkled. I got my hiney burnt just like I did on our honeymoon, you would think I would learn??? I don't know if we just wore ourselves out or what but after that we just could not seem to get along or agree on anything. That makes me very sad, because it will be another whole year until our anniversary comes around. But something that you learn after being with a person for 22 years (more actually because we dated 3 years) is that a date on the calender may mark your anniversary but everyday you have together is special.
I have never really talked much about my husband or our story, but here it is:
I met my husband thru a friend in 9th grade. He was the big football player and I was the cute girl with the funny name and purple Nikes. We started out as friends, he was one of those guys all the girls loved, a big teddy bear. After a while we realized we kinda liked each other more than friends. We dated 2 weeks. I dumped him right after Valentine's Day because he gave me a card that he wrote I love you in. Now mind you...don't we all say I love you and not really mean it? The problem was I knew he meant it and it scared the hell out of me. I was only 14, how on earth could I be in love? NO WAY. We tried to remain friends but ended up just not being able to do it. Fast forward about a year. I noticed he was dating this girl. Well, hmmmmmm I can date....but oh no. him?..that will never do. Then we literally ran into each other in an empty hall way. He promised to call, and did. There were alot talks, fights, starts and stops, back and forth, but soon we were together. Things have always been crazy, I am a very moody and emotional person, so when I am mad everyone knows it, when I am happy everyone knows it. He is very sarcastic and arrogant,(which is one of several things I love about him) but also passionate, whether it be about football or me so things were crazy somedays. Sometimes I am still amazed that we ever managed to stay together. Right around the time we started dating my Ulcerative Colitus symptoms kicked in worse than ever and I had to start taking medications to try to keep it under control. For the next 2 years things would continue to get worse until I was hospitalized. I was very dehydrated, ended up with a punctured lung and was not doing well, so I was moved to ICU. I don't remember much except that everytime I opened my eyes he was there. I don't think the nurses had the heart to make him leave when the 5 minutes was up. I got moved back to Progressive ICU. It was our first Christmas that we would get to spend together (I normally went to visit my mom) and it looked like I was going to be in the hospital. Tony showed up one day with this little tiny tree and decorations. He decorated my room for me. I got out Christmas Eve and my mom drove me by where he worked. The look on his face was amazing. We did get to spend Christmas together. By April I was so sick again that I knew I was going to have to have an ileostomy done if I ever hoped to have a semi normal life. I went in the hospital April 15th, had surgery May 1st and was released May 15th. He walked to the hospital everyday and stayed with me most of the day. My father, who had not talked to him for the first 2 years we dated and would only grunt at him finally said, he really does love her and stopped making us miserable with his attempts to make us break up. I graduated in June, we became engaged in December and shacked up in January. We were married the following September. One of my biggest concerns about having my surgery and the others that have followed thru the years is how it would effect our having children. After we were married 5 years we decided to start a family. We would try just about everything under the sun over the next 5 years until we decided to give it just one more try before starting the paperwork to adopt from Guatemala. We were told I had a bun in the oven...LOL My pregnancy was pretty uncomplicated for someone with my history, but eventful none the less. So after false alarms, hospital stay for a weekend, bedrest, and then daily visits for monitoring, our little girl was delivered. I have never seen a father so in love with his little girl in my life. Now according to my daughter I have had a surgery for every year she has been alive and she is honestly not far off the mark...if not a little short. Everytime my husband would step in and assume both roles like a trooper. When I would come home, he then became nurse on top of all his other duties. I have actually been released early because he was doing such a good job of taking care of me in the hospital that they did not see a reason to keep me. I have watched him be a prince, dance with my daughter and say the lines he was told to say. We decided to adopt, I saw him let go of his reservations, once we were matched I watched him fall in love with a picture of a sonogram and then about a month later I watched him cry because he had to tell me something that he knew was going to break my heart and then helped me explain to our daughter that the sister she had always wanted was not going to happen. 3 months later I watched as he put his heart out there again and started to love a little boy who was just a picture until he held him. Now I watch him play ball and fish with that little boy. I see him look at our little girl he once danced with and carried on his shoulders and smile when he can see he becoming a lady before his eyes even though I think somedays he would love to turn back time for just a little longer. I have watched his hair turn gray, most of which he says I have caused. I see him go off to a job everyday that is sometimes not pleasant so we can have our beautiful home and I can be here to raise our babies.
I suffer from depression, that may actually turn out to be bi-polar (we are still in the see what works phase) and he has been there and tried his best to help me. I know there have been times he wants to say, snap out of it, get up, knock it off. I know that it has not been an easy road and sometimes I do wonder why he has stuck it out. I do know that I am grateful that he has. I love the Rascall Flatts song Everyday that says
Everyday Lyrics
by Rascal Flatts
album: Still Feels Good (2007)
You could have bowed out gracefully
But you didn’t
You knew enough to leave the well enough alone
But you wouldn’t
I drive myself crazy trying to stay out of my own way
The messes that I make but my secrets are so safe
The only one who gets me yeah you get me
It’s amazing to me how
Everyday
Everyday
Everyday you save my life
I come around all broken down and crowded out
And your comfort
Sometimes the place I go is so deep and dark and desperate
I don’t know I don’t know how
Everyday
Everyday
Everyday you save my life
Sometimes I swear I don’t know if I’m coming or going
But you always say something without even knowing
That I’m hanging on to your words with all of my might
And it’s alright, yeah I'm alright for one more night
Everyday
Everyday
Everyday
Everyday
Everyday
Everyday
Everyday you save me
You save me
Everyday you save my life.
That pretty much sums up our story it is a work in progress and even though somedays it is hard, I will never give up. I love my husband, he is my life.
